Super honest moment…
Maybe its a cultural thing but I never usually believe the best. In most of life’s situations my initial thoughts are usually bad. If I’m sick, I webMD the mother out of my symptoms and immedietly think I am dying. If my husbands late from work and not answering his cell, I immediately start to panic and start wondering what life would look like without him. I will be 30 minutes into a dramatic HOW WILL I LIVE scenario in my head and really his phone just died and he stopped by Taco Bell to get me a chalupa!
I also do this with people.
I do this with people who LOVE me and who are loyal to me. I do this with people I have relational equity with. If we get into any healthy conflict or have some kind of disagreement I may or may not go through an entire list of things in my head and heart on what I’d have to do to survive the loss of them.
I know, this sounds super crazy!
Don’t worry, I frequent a pretty epic counselor/pastor and He agrees with you, this is a little crazy. I know why I do it if that makes you feel better. Several years of counseling has unearthed my fear of being left alone, and the loss of some pretty significant voices in this last season has caused this issue to come back to the forefront. But in my experience, God won’t intervene on a problem you won’t admit you have.
So this is me, admitting the problem.
This is me choosing to believe the best when everything in me wants to believe the worst. Sometimes you have to WILL yourself out of default settings and actually say it with your mouth over and over again until your heart really gets it.
Not sure what you are struggling with these days, but if you won’t admit it to yourself, you won’t be able to admit it to your friends or people who love you and want to help. Notice how I didn’t say admit it to God? Yea, Its cause He already knows about whatever you’re struggling with, and He is MORE concerned about it than you are. That’s why I am writing this, that’s why I am admitting this on my blog…
( Side note: introverts worst nightmare: people coming up to me in public to counsel me on things I say on my blog )
…I am sharing this so that maybe you’ll be honest with yourself and because being obedient to what He prompts in me is more important than peoples response to it. So, I may never believe the best initially, but I am working on it. You may never ( insert your issue here ), are you working on it? God is bigger than all of it, but admitting the problem gives way to fixing the problem; and truth is sometimes we just have to be grown ups and take off our social media facades that won’t go to heaven with you and tell the truth, even if that means telling yourself the truth.
No one is perfect, but God wants to perfect things in you, accept the challenge.